In 2012, I was one of 13,600 people in a small town called Uhingen. Growing up in Southern Germany, I knew every single street, every side-alley, every bus stop. It didn't take long for me to realize that I don't want to stay in a place where the only exciting thing that happened was people competing whose garden is neater. It felt like a trap—a shoe I started to outgrow. While sitting in my childhood bedroom, listening to Katy Perry's "Wide Awake," I started dreaming: "Next year, I want to be in Berlin. A big city with endless possibilities. A city that offers me the freedom I need to do what I want: Be a journalist."
In 2013, I did it. I moved to the German capital and was now one of 3,7 million people. The streets were full—and so was my heart. I heard techno at one street corner, Turkish folklore at the next. It was a city with a million faces—and I loved every single one of them. I left a narrow-minded neighborhood and traded it for a multicultural mecca. The cherry on top of my "Big City McSundae": My editorial internship at a movie production company. Between meetings with Hollywood A-Listers, I tried to soak in everything the city had to offer. Thinking back at my life in Uhingen, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. But deep inside, I knew: Berlin gave me a taste of the world—and made me hungry for more.
In 2014, I did it. I moved to Bangkok for another editorial internship and was now one of 8,2 million people. The streets were filled with cars, motorcycles, and elephants. But my heart was aching—confused, jet-lagged, homesick. It was my first time in Asia, 5,550 miles away from home. Eating spicy soup in 95-degree weather was the easiest thing to get used to. Far more difficult? Dealing with communication barriers and a whole different culture. If my mom had told me: "Come back home, I'll book you a flight now"—I would have done it in the blink of an eye.
But I stayed. And what started as a traumatizing jump into the deep end, turned out to be the most rewarding and life-changing experience. I went to slum areas where families of five would sleep in a tiny room together—but greeted me with the biggest smile. Not only personally but also professionally, Bangkok turned out to be my best decision yet. I reported on the military coup and the resulting curfew for one of the biggest German TV channels. I cheered with hundreds of Thai soccer fans when the German national team won the World Cup. And I traveled to dreamy islands to help the production of "The Bachelor." That's when I started to realize: Dreams do come true, no matter how big they are—but only if you believe in yourself and focus on every step you take. So, even though I was trapped in my studio apartment on the 13th floor of a highrise building every night at 9 p.m., due to the curfew, I ironically felt a type of freedom I've never felt before.
After six months in Southeast Asia, I returned to Berlin. What once was my sacred haven, the place I comfortably called home, seemed different. It felt small, not inspiring, not colorful, not open-minded. Did the city change—or was it me? My love affair with this dirty but wonderfully unique place turned into a dull relationship with no more words left to say. I knew our dance was over—and I knew where it would continue. I just had to wait a little longer.
In 2017, I did it. I moved to Los Angeles County as a freelance journalist and was now one of 10,1 million people. The streets were filled with thousands of cars, trying to escape rush-hour. But even the most hectic corners of this crazy city made my heart jump higher than ever before. Seeing the palm trees, the ocean, the desert, happy faces, movie billboards, I knew: Los Angeles fulfills my wildest dreams. 5,900 miles away, I found a new home away from home.
In 2019, after a quick "relapse" with Berlin, I came back to my happy place. Los Angeles: Ten letters that still mean the world to me. Now, thinking back at my 17-year-old self in Uhingen—I cry happy tears. If I could, I would like to go back to my childhood bedroom and tell myself: Don't listen to anyone who tries to discourage you. Don't be ashamed of how big your dreams are. Just go. Just go and explore the world—with all its difficulties. Don't give up when it gets tough—because every bump in the road will make you grow.